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Book review of Will the Theologians Please Sit Down, by David Bercot.

Carelessly drifting, the church drifts along,

For pleasure and folly, a gay, giddy throng;
Led on by the glitter, the pride, and the show,
So careless and thoughtless as years come and go;
Unheeding the voice of the watchman on high,
“O turn ye, O turn ye, for why will ye die?”
Carelessly drifting away from their God ,
Away from his people, away from His Word;
Bewitched and enchanted with sin’s siren song,
They plunge in the whirlpool of folly and wrong;
Forgetting the holy, the pure, and the true,
Still onward the byways of sin they pursue.
Carelessly drifting, the wise and the great,
The rich and the poor alike drift to their fate;
For gold and for silver, for honor and fame,
So blind and deluded their glory’s their shame,
Forsaking true wisdom and knowledge for dross;
They seek for mere bubbles—in hell they’ll be lost.
Carelessly drifting from Jesus and right,
Still farther and farther into the dark night;
The prayers and the tears of loved ones they crush,
Like filth in the streets as onward they rush,
Hard’ning their heart as an adamant stone,
Rejecting the blood for their sins to atone.
Carelessly drifting from heaven and home,
From bright fields Elysian forever to roam;
Far, far, from God’s mercy, His smiles, and His love,
To suffer forever ‘neath his wrath from above;
The blackness of darkness they choose for their fate,
They awake to their doom when alas ‘tis too late!
(Note that this poem originally started with the words, “Carelessly drifting the world rushes on,” but it fits the church so well, I changed it. The author is unknown.)

1. Think about yourself.
2. Talk about yourself.
3. Use “I” as often as possible.
4. Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others.
5. Listen greedily to what people have to say about you.
6. Expect to be appreciated.
7. Be suspicious.
8. Be jealous and envious.
9. Be sensitive to slights.
10. Never forgive a criticism.
11. Trust no one but yourself.
12. Insist on consideration and respect.
13. Demand agreement with your own views on everything.
14. Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them.
15. Never forget a service you may have rendered.
16. Be on the lookout for a good time for yourself.
17. Shirk your duties if you can.
18. Do as little as possible for others.
19. Love yourself supremely.
20. Be selfish.
This recipe is guaranteed to be infallible.
—Author unknown